So I'd like to claim my weekend has been as cultural as Geoff's, but judging from what i am about to write you'll see it has been far from it.
So I'd like to claim my weekend has been as cultural as Geoff's, but judging from what i am about to write you'll see it has been far from it.

Eurovision.... Love it or hate it, you can't deny its cult following and its comedy stylings. Personally I love it, or rather love to hate it. I love the fact that the voting is rigged and that we don't stand a cat in hells chance of winning, or even coming anything but second to last (with me always hoping out for a nil poi to really rub in our failures, Not that we would want to win and spend more of the tax payers money on another nonsensical 'national event', but you know "its the taking part that counts"). More than anything I love the fact that eurovision can laugh at itself. Half of it is probably the larger countries like Spain and France not wanting to have to put up the money to host the whole extravaganza, but the comedy stylings of this years entries really made it hard for me to pick a top 3 to blog about, far too many to choose from!

This years euro-extravaganza, was a real mixed bag of genre's. From the axe wielding death metal Finnish entry (of course).....

to the Pirates of Latvia (both of whom are getting honorable mentions.. with a hi hi ho.... ). You may be shocked that the Latvian pirates are not making my top spot, I know your thinking, 'Maz, but they are all dressed as pirates, surely they are clear winner's', but the pirate ditty they put forward was far to euro pop and not enough scurvy dog, and yes it pains to me to knock them out of my top 3.

Unfortunately the winner of this years competition was Russia, with a god awful, boy band type affair (even wearing boy band white), made marginally more exciting by a gimp on ice skates, confined to the worlds smallest ice rink.

However, this is how it should have gone down in my view.. So lets count down Maz's 3 to 1....

8 points goes to..... France!!

How could i resist the 70's inspired, golf buggy driving, Beach ball toting, sleazy singer and bearded (even the women) backing singers.

10 points goes to... Bosnia and Herzegovina!!

Helena Bottom-carter has nothing on this chick!! Brides, washing lines and a crazy ass tune, what more do you need in a euro-vision entry.

Top spot and my 12 points, has to go to, SPAIN - Chiki Chiki.

There are so many reasons that this makes my top spot. First up has to be the dance routine... i'm a sucker for anything with associated dance moves, even if one dancer did go arse over tit (i'm still not convinced if that was part of the routine, it seemed anything goes). Secondly the catchy beat and lyrics. It somehow makes me wonder if it was some kind of homage to the chiki girls, i'm hoping not, or else i would have to rethink this top slot. Which brings me onto the next reason... the lyrics.... which i will leave you with (not sure how good the translation is but it gives you an idea).....


Dance the chiki chiki

Dance doggystyle, dance doggystyle

The chiki chiki is so great
They dance it in China and also in Alcorcón
Give that mulatta chiki chiki
Because the chiki chiki drives her crazy

José Luis dances it
Hugo Chávez dances it
Mariano dances it
You know it, my love

The brothers dance it
My brother dances it
My mulatta dances it
With panties in her hand

And the chiki chiki is danced this way:
One – the breakdance
Two – the crossed step
Three – the Michael Jackson
Four – the Robocop

Dance the chiki chiki
Dance the chiki chiki
Heavies dance it
And so do freaks

They dance it in prison
They dan ce it at school
My mother dances it
And so does my grandmother

The puma sings it
With its striped costume
And Juan Carlos says:
“Why don’t you shut up?”

At Father Damien’s wake
They played the chiki chiki and the dead man started to dance
Dance, dance, dance…

And the chiki chiki is danced this way:
One – the breakdance
Two – the crossed step
Three – the Michael Jackson
Four – the Robocop