For Christmas Santa brought me this lovely fish tank, called a Biorb. Me, being naïve, thought that fish would be an easy, relatively cheap hobby (because the million things I already do/collect just aren't enough you understand). So me being me, want the prettiest most colourful fish, which of course are marine, and hard to keep. Now as I continue my story you will understand why Marine would be a really bad idea (when you consider the fact that they are £30+ a fish).

So I set up my tank.... get a wicked Easter Island styled head (ok so I know it’s from sponge bob, but it’s still awesome) and put in some pink plastic plants... Now it’s looking hot. Time for some fish.

After deciding that marine fish are out (bye bye Nemo) I settle for tropical, and heat the water accordingly. Now most people recommend that you set up your tank and let it become established for about a month.... but do you really think I can wait that long? Hmm no your right I couldn't, and it did say in my instructions I could add fish after 48hrs (maybe it meant just goldfish) so it should be fine right? Wrong! After about a week of letting my tank 'mature' I march off down to the aquarium and buy 3 pretty male guppy.

Apologies for my bad iphone pictures…. It’s all I have of their short lived reign. I decided against naming them, forming too high an emotional attachment at a crucial time in the tanks life is probably not the best idea. And in hindsight this was for the best. Mr Orange did take a tumble on the way into his new home and surf the carpet for a while, but he seemed fine from his escapade, and we won’t go into that too much ;)

So Mr Orange, Mr Blue, and Mr Yellow (ok so they did kind of have names) take residence (after a period of adjustment) in their new home, and all is well. The next day however Mr Yellow starts doing strange things and swimming in one continuous spot, which was very odd. This was the start of his demise. After some crazy jumping out of the water then passing out on the way down he eventually kicked the bucket and went to the fishy heaven in the sky. Down the toilet. The next two days the other two went the same way (these two are in the freezer waiting to be returned under warranty… I kid you not).

Turns out guppy prefer a mature tank, and after spending mucho dollar on various water testers, discovered that the ph was also high. You really need to be a scientist to keep fish. Not what I remember of childhood fish tanks full of pretty fish owned by my brother. I don't remember any of them dying, at any point, or even the water being changed... remarkable really ;)

So today I brought some plants to brighten up the space for rent, and hopefully stabilise the water. After a comedic fight with the tank to plant them without them floating to the surface (there is no room for two arms.. you have to do it all with one hand) they seem to be settling in well. Now not to kill them in the first two days is the plan. If they survive overnight, I may get some more fish tomorrow and up date you on their progress…..

Wish me luck!